OK, what's this "TG Butch" thing, and all these "he" comments...

I'll admit, my life can be a bit confusing to the uninitiated outsider. Here you think you've got it all figured out, that I'm this proud out queer girl marrying another woman, but then you read my blog and start noticing things like "I talked to Ivón and he..."

Um... HE?!? I'm a lesbian, right?!?

Well, kinda sorta technically but not really.

My beloved is legally and biologically female, but inside feels totally male. If it had been an option 30 years ago, perhaps V. would have gotten in line for the hormones, surgery and legal shenanigans it takes to become identifiably and legally male. But it wasn't, and at this point it's not going to.

The gendered pronoun dance is always a fun one, of course. In front of most family (particularly V's family) an all coworkers, casual acquaintances, and in publicly viewable online sites that could be traced to one of us without much difficulty, I refer to V as "she." Directly to Ivón, in private communities where the support for such things can be presumed, and in front of most friends and some of my family members, I refer to V as "he." Ivón really is fine with either, I'm fine with either (and it's fun having conversations where I refer to V. as "he" as the person I'm talking to refers to V. as "she" - God help anyone overhearing us!), and it's really not nearly as much of a big deal to us as it is to a lot of other people. If you're commenting or talking to us electronically or in person, either one really is fine - the only limit being, in front of V's family or coworkers, it's "she" all the way; that's just a bridge we're not willing to jump off of just yet.

Questions are more than welcome - please don't feel as if you're being ignorant or nosy or anything. I feel that if I can help someone learn a bit more about being transgendered, then I've done a tiny little bit towards helping the world be more accepting of TG folk in general.