"I Will Survive" is not a wedding song, and other sage advice

An online friend who is busy planning her own 2008 wedding posted this to her private blog recently, and gave me permission to copy it here. There's some very good advice and a couple of good chuckles!

I just came home from my good friend's wedding, in which I was a bridesmaid, and I have a list of things I learned in regards to planning my own wedding, both good ideas and things to watch for.

GOOD IDEAS

• Her bridesmaid gifts were monogrammed tote bags with three things inside -- a picture frame with pictures from her bachelorette trip, a personal gift for each bridesmaid, and a smaller matching bag which contained wedding day essentials like safety pins, clear nail polish, dental floss, mints, and the like -- but each of us had only a few of the items, so we had to work together if we needed something. It was a great idea and came in VERY handy! We also all got special padded shoe inserts made for heels, which saved my feet.
• She reserved an extra room for her and the bridesmaids to sleep in the night before the wedding so she wouldn't be in the bridal suite until she was married.
• They totally personalized the reception without a care as to what people would think. They are Star Trek nerds, so each table was named for a place or other important thing from Star Trek and they entered to the theme song. It was so cute and personal!
• The bride had her cousin do everyone's makeup as her wedding gift, so we all got similar colors and styles and it was all done at the same time.
• They had a head table but were not the least bit anal about the bridal party getting up and visiting other tables, so I got to hang out with my fiance and with my brother and his wife, who had come in from out of state.
• The couple had a friend man (woman?) the guestbook table with a Polaroid camera. The guests signed large index cards, then the attendant took a photo and attached it to the card. All the cards were placed in a keepsake box the size of a recipe box.
• Both the bride and the groom made a point of inviting the other's attendants' significant others to their night-before gatherings (so my fiance hung out with the groom, and one of the groomsmen's girlfriends hung out with the bride and bridesmaids)
• The bride made available walking maps of the town and indicated her favorite places to walk, eat, and shop so the guests could have fun if they came in early or stayed later the next day.
• The bride is asthmatic, so she had amazingly gorgeous wooden flowers custom made for the wedding. They were more original than silk and so classy. Also, she had me keep her inhaler in my cleavage (nowhere else to put it!) just in case she needed it, but I'd imagine a groomsman's pocket would work just as well.

THINGS TO REMEMBER

• Make sure you have your veil with your dress, or ready to take to the hair salon. Hers was accidentally left in the original dress garment bag, which was crumpled into a corner of her all-packed-to-move apartment and we couldn't find it for over an hour. Panic and tears ensued and the veil was wrinkled.
• Double-check that everyone you hired is still working for their respective companies a few times leading up to the wedding. Apparently, the couple's officiant quit and did not bother to notify her clients. They only found out because the company's receptionist noticed they were supposed to have a final meeting before the run-through (this would have been the fourth meeting they would have had with her!) Luckily the original officiant's assistant stepped up and did a FABULOUS job, but it was stressful.
• If your venue is outside have a plan in place for inclement weather, even wind -- the bride's veil was blowing everywhere and almost came out of her hair, and the chuppah (Jewish wedding canopy) almost blew over. And the bridesmaids in their strapless gowns were very cold, especially standing for photos. The hotel did provide heat lamps, so that was good. The veil could have been tacked somehow to her dress, but the MOH had to hold it down for part of the ceremony to keep it from blowing away.
• No matter how much you like it, Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive" is not a wedding song. Double-check the DJ's or band's playlist. On the same note, make sure your DJ/band leader knows the difference between a hora and a Greek circle dance (if necessary, of course).
• Have a plan in place for food the day of the wedding, breakfast and lunch. Even if you're not hungry, the bridesmaids will be, and you should eat something too. We had to figure out that stuff on they fly, and while it worked out it would have been easier to have it planned beforehand. Also, if the bridesmaids are dressing in rooms other than their own, make sure they have their own keys to each room!
• On a similar note, prehydrate the day of the wedding but not too close to dressing time. Use the bathroom before putting on your dress (especially if it's heavy!) and encourage your bridesmaids and flower girls to do the same. The bride was meticulous about this and it helped very much.
• If the photogapher is doing something you don't like or is rushing you, speak the hell up. And if a bride and groom from a previous wedding (her venue had three weddings that day!) is hogging the prime spots, speak up. It's your day.