Getting my tits in a twist over SMIs

I try really hard, REALLY hard, not to be critical of folks who spend an entire college education fund or mortgage down-payment or twice a working-poor family's income on a wedding and reception. I can't fathom it, it goes against so many of my personal values, but it's their money (or, more often, at least the money of someone who chose to pay for it presumably of their own free will) and it's their values and their wedding, so it's their choice.

So I find myself having to really hold myself back from coming out [verbally] swinging when a group of small-minded idiots (hereafter known as SMI's) start taking potshots at low-budget wedding choices. One of the nicest wedding's I've ever been to had a pot-luck reception since that's all they could afford to do in order to share a celebratory meal with the people at their wedding. It was delicious, well planned, down to earth, and fun.

But according to the SMI's of the world, not only is a potluck wedding totally tacky and tasteless regardless of the couple's circumstances and culture, but pretty much anyone who can't afford a big expensive party should either take out a big expensive loan or just elope. Seriously, they're saying that. According to SMI-think, big expensive receptions are the couple's obligation for the guest's having had to give up their time to come there, get all dressed up, and bring a gift. Because apparently in the land of SMI, that's the only reason why folks come to a wedding is to party. It wouldn't be couldn't be because the folks actually CARED for the couple who is getting married and wanted to celebrate with them, no siree.

What a sad life most of these SMI's must lead. Seriously.

And just to make myself very clear, someone can have a huge lavish wedding and still not at all be a SMI. This isn't about taking potshots at folks who have big lavish weddings and receptions. It really takes a really special kind of judgmental bitch to be an SMI, so your expensive wedding will not automatically qualify you for that title, but your bad attitude most certainly will.

As I said in the wedding-board thread where this was brought up, anyone who thinks that my low-budget low-key wedding and reception isn't good enough for them, or anyone who wouldn't have been willing to contribute to a pot-luck IF that's all we could afford, please stay home, OK? Be here for me, not just with an expectation of an open bar and $5 worth of mass-produced mediocre food that cost us $50 or more.

I need to breath and get over this. Oh, and leave work now.

And I need to stop. reading. that. thread. No drama, no drama, no drama. Yikes.