Well, since it's 11:30pm and the winner was supposed to be notified today, I guess I didn't win Offbeat Bride's "Win Something Blue" contest, with a prize of two blue iPod Nanos. I just wish that I'd made a copy of what I wrote as my contest entry, which asked for three "wedding planning" songs to load onto the iPod, and why. I know I chose "This Will Be (an Everlasting Love)" and "Why Walk When You Can Fly" but I'm totally blanking on the third song I chose, dammit. And my reasons for each song were good - or so I thought anyway. Hee. Oh well.
I'm certainly feeling like an offbeat bride, though. It's not just that I'm a queer Jew by choice marrying a transgendered Latin butch, that we'll be having a Jewish wedding when there will only be maybe 4 Jews there, that we'll both be over 50, that our granddaughters will be our only bridal party, or anything like that. What's making me feel most offbeat is how we just want something small, low-key and low-budget, and how much that's turning out to be totally not the norm. I'm sure that it's not really true, but it appears from the folks I'm reading about on various wedding sites that to most people, "small" means either 100 or a destination wedding on some island with 20 people, "low key" means a two-hour open bar and a string quartet instead of a five hour open bar and a dance band, and "low-budget" focuses on comparing tips on how to get maximum frou-frou that LOOKS expensive but isn't, thanks to the dollar store and a team of dedicated glue gunners. I'm feeling quite out of place. Of course it might also be that folks planning weddings like mine just don't hang around and post on those wedding sites, but it would be nice (for me) if they did. And of course I'm exaggerating because I have already run into women who are planning truly small, personal, low-key and low-budget women, but we're so outnumbered it's scary.
Don't misread me: There's absolutely nothing at all wrong with folks who really want every little detail to be just-so, but that's just so not me -- or at least I hope it never becomes me. I'm begging you now, someone please do a serious intervention if I start fussing over not being able to find just the right shade of chiffon to use to drape the edges of the tables, or if I can't find a "save the date" card design to fit my theme and color scheme ("blush" and "bashful", of course). Those can be important to other people, but they're just so not important to me, or to us, or to our feeling that this ceremony and celebration were absolutely perfect.
I'm sure there will be things that I'll end up going bridezilla over - flies in the back yard despite our every effort to rid it of every last trace of dogshit, my inability to read Von's mind as required, pretty shoes not being available in 7.5 wide flat duck, hot flashes and hormone swings, where everyone from out of town will stay since few can afford multiple hotel room nights, etc. Just please, please don't let me go bridezilla over table decorations being an inch too tall or the flowers being the wrong shade of lilac or stuff like that. Help me keep my focus on WHY we're doing this - Our vows, the support of our family and friends, a really enjoyable low-key down-to-earth party with good food and good dancing, and everything being set up to reflect the type of people we really are.
Oh and one last thing for the record. Again, if it's your wedding and not mine, then it's totally up to you if you choose to not allow children to attend, since I know that they can disrupt services and spoil some adults' fun. But for me, I'd love BabyGrand to decide to introduce herself to everyone as she comes forward as our flower girl and show off her new panties to a select few, I'd love someone's baby to start chattering away in the middle of my vows, I'll be thrilled when the kids (littles and teens) hit the dance floor, and the dance I'm most looking forward to will be with Ivón, TweenGrand and BabyGrand dancing together to "We Are Family." That's just me - marriage is about creating family (biological, extended and chosen), and families are perpetuated through our children.
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"I'm a queer Jew by choice marrying a transgendered Latin butch, that we'll be having a Jewish wedding ,,," Whoa, you have alot going on with this party, maybe you should skip the themes, and just have some homestyle food and mix in some latin music, and have fun. Don't over-think it.
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